If You're Here (For Some Reason)

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Theory about Indiana Jones...

I was watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull earlier tonight when I thought of something that I'm not sure anyone's ever thought of before.

****SPOILERS*****

When Agent Spalko forces Indy to stare into the Crystal Skull, Indy goes somewhat crazy, just like what happened to Ox, but Indy's mind is supposedly stronger than Ox's and so he only goes slightly crazy. But what if he really did go completely crazy and everything that happened afterward was just an elaborate hallucination?

This opens up a whole world of discussion. If this is true...

#1: Mutt Williams isn't really Indy's son.

Now I know that Mutt has gotten a lot of criticism from fans, but I actually generally liked Shia LeBeouf's performance in Indy 4. I also liked the concept of giving Indy a son, as it poses no opposition the the character for him to have a son, and because it is a good plot point, and can lead to some very good "Junior" moments. What I didn't like was that Indy 4 seemed like a primer for Mutt to take over the franchise. I am not opposed to giving Mutt a TV series, in fact i would support such a series, but seeing a big screen Indiana Jones movie with Mutt Williams as the lead would be a travesty and would make even more people hate George Lucas.

Now what was my point? Oh right, Mutt's not Indy's son.

As I was saying I liked Mutt, but a lot of fans didn't so seeing as it was not revealed to Indy that Mutt was his son until after Indy was... Hypnotized... Or something, by the Crystal Skull, it is very possible that this was nothing more than a delusion caused by the Skull, and a bunch of writers.

#2: Less Aliens.

Now here's another thing a lot of fans hated, and again one I am going to defend.

I enjoyed the aliens... Oh I'm sorry. "Inter-dimensional Beings." Happy now George?

Anyway, I liked the inclusion of Aliens in Indy 4, and it's actually because of something George Lucas said.

He said that the Aliens were in the movie because the original films were set in the 1930s, back when adventure serials were at the top of their game, and they inspired the original Indiana Jones movies.

Now since Indy 4 takes places in the 1950s, it takes various nods from 50s culture, namely

Sci-Fi B movies like The Blob, or War of the Worlds, so the jump from religious artifacts to Aliens seems perfectly natural.

Anyway, back to my point.

As cool as the concept of aliens was, i don't think we ever needed to see more than a mummified hand, or a skull, so I didn't really like the scene at the end where all 13 Crystal Skeletons come together to make one Alien. Just before Indy falls under the spell of the Skull, we see the mummified head of an Alien. I still think that was too much, but it was forgivable because it wasn't alive! And of course, how could we forget about the giant flying saucer zooming up out of a collapsing Mayan temple!

And of course, like most bad things about this movie, it happens after the... Hypnosis? I dunno what that was.

Oh well.

#3: No Marion.

Again something I loved about Indy 4, but this time something that most fans can agree was one of the great aspects of the fourth movie.

Marion's inclusion made the series seem to come to more of a close, and served to tie up the whole series into a nice bundle. The only other possible true contender for Indy to end up with would have been Sophia Hapgood, and she wouldn't have had the same nostalgic impact as Marion, because not as many people know who she is.

Anyway, Indy marrying Marion was certainly something that was one of the great things about Indy 4 that made it seem like a true end to the series, and makes me sadly doubtful that there will be another movie.

#4: No Tarzan swing.

This is the first thing on this list that I truly hated about Indy 4.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm referring to the scene where, partway through the car chase through the jungle, Mutt gets caught on a branch and gets hurled up into the tops of the trees. At this point, a group of monkeys join up with Mutt, and they follow mutt, swinging on the vines, to the place where the chase is going on.

Let me explain why this scene aggravates me so much.

First of all, it is completely out of place in an otherwise normal (but awesome) action scene for a character to suddenly reach up to the trees and start swinging around like Tarzan.

Second of all, it is one of the two most ridiculous, far fetched, all around stupid ideas that could be put into an Indiana Jones movie. Yes, I know, all of them are over the top, but something like dropping out of a plane in a raft is saved by the fact that it looks so cool! Mutt Williams swinging through the trees is the bad kind of ridiculous. The kind that makes you slap your forehead and say "How did they think of something that stupid." That bad.

I hate that scene.

#5: Mac, the quadruple agent.

This one didn't bother me so much when I first saw the movie, but mow I realize that it's a very stupid plot device, and could have been handled much better.

Here's how I would have done it.

Indy and Mac escape the warehouse together. Indy still thinks Mac is on his side. (this would also change the "Nuke the Fridge" scene)

Indy and Mac next meet at the sanitarium where Ox was kept, where Mac explains that he's looking of the skulls too. When Indy, Mutt, and Mac find Orellana's cradle, get the skull and come out of the grave, then Mac turns out to be a traitor. This happens to that the audience builds up time to trust Mac, thus giving it more impact when it turns out he's a traitor.

The rest of the movie plays out as it did, but now the audience cares a bit more for Mac in the moments when they think he's in Indy's side.

That's about all I got right now, so I'll shut up now.

Until the next ramble!